Five Strong Communication Styles You Need: Choose The Best

Communication styles shape the tone, trust, and outcomes of every interaction at work. They are the invisible filters that determine whether a colleague leaves a conversation motivated or deflated, whether a project moves forward or stalls due to a misunderstanding.

Ever had a conversation at work that went completely sideways and you walked away thinking, “wait… how did we end up here?”

Perhaps you sent an email that you thought was perfectly clear, but your colleague interpreted it as aggressive.

Or you stayed quiet in a meeting, only to realize later that your silence looked like agreement.

Or maybe you have been on the receiving end of a manager’s feedback that felt more like a bulldozer running over your confidence.

Most of us like to believe we are good communicators. But the reality? How you say something can completely change how it’s received. That’s why two people can deliver the same message, and one gets nods of agreement while the other gets eye-rolls and passive resistance.

We all default to certain communication habits, shaped by how we were raised, the workplaces we have been part of, or even the role models we had growing up. And while those styles might feel natural, they don’t always fit the situation.

In this post, we will unpack five communication styles — what they are, why we use them, when they help, and how to make them work for you instead of against you.

1. Assertive Communication

Assertive communication is the gold standard of styles. Confident without being arrogant, clear without being harsh, and respectful without being submissive. You express your thoughts, needs, and feelings openly while considering others’.

For example:

“I’d like to hear your input before we finalize this decision.”

“I value your perspective, but I see it differently.”

Why do people use it?

This style typically develops when people feel secure expressing themselves and believe their voice matters. It comes from a balance of self-confidence and empathy.

Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, exemplifies assertive communication. He conveys vision and direction confidently, yet listens deeply to his team. His emails, speeches, and team interactions often reflect clarity without aggression, fostering collaboration even in high-pressure environments.

When to use

• Leading meetings where you need clarity and direction
• Giving feedback without being harsh
• Negotiating deadlines or resources

Phrases to say

• “I feel…”
• “I would like…”
• “I need your input on…”

2. Passive Communication

Passive communicators tend to avoid conflict and prioritize the needs of others over their own. Their tone is often soft, hesitant, or accommodating, and they may struggle to express dissatisfaction directly.

For example:

“It’s fine, I don’t mind — whatever the team decides.”

“I guess I can stay late, if no one else is available…”

Why do people use it?

This style often develops in environments where speaking up feels risky, maybe due to cultural norms, past experiences of being dismissed, or low confidence.

When to use

• Diffusing unnecessary tension when the stakes are low
• Early stages of joining a new team (to observe dynamics first)
• Allowing space for quieter voices to emerge

Phrases to say

• “If everyone else is okay with it…”
• “I guess I can manage it…”

3. Aggressive Communication

Aggressive communicators express themselves forcefully, often at the expense of others. They dominate conversations, interrupt, raise their voices, or dismiss opposing views.

For example:

“We are doing it my way. End of discussion.”

Why do people use it?

This style often stems from high stress, a fear of losing control, or the belief that dominance equates to respect. Some workplaces even reinforce this style in competitive environments.

Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, is a well-known example. His aggressive style helped push teams toward innovation, but it also caused friction and high turnover.

When to use

• Crisis management where quick action matters (e.g., safety issues, emergencies)
• To protect your team or values under attack
• Rarely, but it can serve as a wake-up call when everything else fails

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Phrases to say (sparingly)

• “This must be done now.”
• “No other option works.”
• “We are proceeding as I said.”

4. Passive-Aggressive Communication

This style combines passivity with hidden resistance. Instead of addressing conflict directly, passive-aggressive communicators use sarcasm, subtle digs, procrastination, or silence to express discontent. For example,

“Sure, whatever you say” with an eye roll.

Agreeing in meetings but not following through

Why do people use it?

It often develops when people feel powerless to be direct, but still want to assert control or express frustration.

When to use

Honestly? Almost never. It creates confusion and mistrust. Recognize this style in yourself as a red flag.

The only constructive use is as a trigger for self-awareness. If you notice yourself slipping into this style, it’s a sign you need to find a healthier, more direct approach.

Phrases NOT to say

• “Fine, whatever.”
• “I guess that works…”
• “If that’s what you want…”

5. Empathetic Communication

Empathetic communicators focus on understanding and validating others’ emotions. They listen deeply, use open body language, and respond with compassion before pushing their own agenda.

For example:

“It sounds like you are frustrated. Can you share more?”

Nodding, summarizing, and validating before responding

Why do people use it?

This style grows from strong emotional intelligence and a belief that connection matters as much as outcomes.

A 2022 PwC survey found that 85% of employees want managers to demonstrate empathy, highlighting its growing importance in workplaces worldwide.

When to use

• One-on-one check-ins with team members
• Handling conflicts or misunderstandings
• Supporting colleagues through stress or change

Phrases to say

• “I hear you…”
• “I understand this is challenging…”

How to Choose the Right Communication Style?

Knowing the communication styles isn’t enough. The real skill is choosing the right one in the moment. And yes, in real life, you don’t have minutes to pause and analyze. You need fast instincts.

The best technique is to read the energy level of the room.

• Normal conversation, things flowing → Assertive or Passive works.
• New team, low stakes, just observing → Passive fits best.
• Emotions rising, hesitation, silence, tension → Switch to empathetic.
• Crisis, urgency, or chaos → Assertive first; in rare cases, controlled aggression to push through.
• Agreeing but delaying later, resistance, or hesitation -> That’s passive-aggressive (a red flag to watch for, not a style to use).

This helps you decide in a split second.

That means using clear words, maintaining a calm tone, and showing respect for the opposing side. It works in 80% of cases.

The key is practice. At first, you’ll catch yourself thinking, “Which one do I use?” Over time, your instincts sharpen. Practice these until they are instinctive.

That’s how you shift from default communication to intentional communication.

Key Takeaway

Communication is not about picking the right style. It is about flexibility, awareness, and emotional intelligence.

The best communicators are like skilled musicians: they know when to be assertive, when to let empathy lead, and when to ground a discussion in data.

Emotional intelligence is what helps you sense which style fits the moment.

Communication is a superpower, learn the styles, practice the switches, and watch your work relationships and influence grow.